Shame on, you crazy Diamond.
Being a sex worker comes with a vast amount of stigma and shame
Sadly, being a Dominatrix, being a sex worker comes with a vast amount of stigma and shame, that I do not consent to. I am accepting of who I am, and that acceptance is something I offer to others. You are treated respectfully until you request not to be. That’s how it should work.
Did you ever stop to imagine how the world looks for me? A world where I exist only in the darkest corners of your minds, like a dirty secret, you can start to see why there is that association. Imagine a world where your job causes a reaction of shame in others. I am not ashamed of my work but I deal with others’ shame of me, of others and themselves everyday. Sex workers are providing a very valuable service. We all have our limits and choose who we allow to visit us and what takes place. Because this is the work we choose we are seen as sub-human.
Blamed for a multitude of societal ills
Shame and humiliation are things I know a lot about. But how you experience it in a session and how I experience it in life are two very different things.
I offer consensual humiliation to those that have a need for it.
It is a gnawing need that makes you feel a little uneasy, isn’t it kind of unnatural to want to be bullied and shamed? But that perversion is its appeal.
It can change the tone of a BDSM scene or be a stand-alone fetish. Boot worship can be perceived as humiliation, but depending on the dynamic between those two individuals it may not be experienced as humiliation to either of them.
So much in BDSM is about context and your own unique experience. Degradation has to be a tailored experience, it really depends on what you find degrading, what inflames your shame quickest and hardest. Someone that has experienced childhood trauma and wishes to face and own that trauma can sometimes get there with just a slap in the face. Those who have never experienced abuse or bullying, can be slower to respond to these prompts.
This is one of the many reasons, why when you contact me and ask for a kink to be indulged, such as humiliation, I will always want to know what that means to you.
Shame works so well in a BDSM play scene. The place where all dirty, shunned and taboo activities are allowed to breathe and be celebrated, insults add a finishing touch to the party. Being anally drilled by a Femdom, and told you are dirty and filthy, degraded with obscenities and spit is liberating when you’ve asked for it. Because you are accepting your vulnerability, fully owning it all. Knowing it can stop when you say so. In a dungeon it is controlled, there is aftercare and appreciation.
Kink can give you that shameful feeling, but for me I am proud to be able to provide a safe place where people can play with these conflicting emotions and these desires that have made them feel “wrong” for so long.
You are treated respectfully until you request not to be
“You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other effects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness”- Brené Brown
To stand any chance of being truly happy, you have to acknowledge your good and bad traits.
Shame lurks everywhere, and we undermine its hold over us by letting it out. So my advice for the day:
Establish consent, use protection, be a shameless whore!