What clothes, if any, should a Dominatrix wear?

“Clothing and the lack of, is a powerful tool when establishing a power exchange… does this mean a naked Domme is less imposing? Less dominant?”

If ever there was a title to divide the Pro-Domme world, it would be ‘Naked domination’! Let’s undress this controversial subject a layer at a time. Let’s get to the bottom of it right out of the gate: Women can do what they want with their bodies. We can agree on that surely?

So, using that as the starting point, bodily autonomy is our basic right. It is the least we can expect; the minimum. But a Domme is a Domme because she expects a lot more than the minimum, in every aspect of her life. She is looking for the maximum, high standards and to have it ALL! A Dominatrix will take her basic rights and be pissed the word “basic” is being used anywhere near her. She believes her rights include rescinding yours; her rights are not always about equality or kindness, she’s not running a democracy. A Domme in her element is a running a dictatorship, and the uniform is what she says it is!

Clothing and the lack of, is a powerful tool when establishing a power exchange. In session he hands over his clothes, his armour and is typically naked and exposed, while she is very much not. This underscores the vulnerability of the male sub and theoretically enhances the dominance of the woman in a Femdom scene. So, does this mean a naked Domme is less imposing? Less dominant?

“What I wear or not, does not reflect my sexual availability. Only my consent can alter that.“

Naked Ambition

If a sex worker is comfortable being naked, if it makes her feel empowered and beautiful, then that is a great thing. She can hustle and make a lot of money shaking what her mother gave her.

BUT – if a Professional Domme does the same, it seems to put noses well out of joint. Which is odd when you think that a Domme should be ‘the pinnacle’ of female empowerment, and by extension her sisterhood should back that choice. Yet this does not seem to be the case.

If I, as a Pro-Domme, wake up one day feeling dangerously sexy and want to session naked to overwhelm the sub with what he can’t have, I should feel like I can. As soon as a woman feels like she is being dictated to, shamed or pressured into putting more clothes on, surely it is as bad as pressuring a woman to take them off? Or to dress in a certain way?

Our position in the Whorearchy is due to the expectation that we remain clothed, it apparently makes us “better” than FSSW’s. The Whorearchy pyramid is graded from top to bottom on how close a man can get his dick to our pussies. These grades are based on out-dated assumptions and sexist stereotypes. Domme’s are in the middle of that pyramid of pussy prestige because we touch dicks… we do… I mean not nicely, but having it in our hand (crushing it) means we are too “touchy-feely” to be considered “untouchable”.

“My attire in a session is not something the wider audience of people need concern themselves with.“

Who’s opinion counts?

But what happens in a dungeon should ultimately be a scenario where the will of the woman is all-important. What she wants to wear or not should be what she feels comfortable in. If we wear clothes because that is what the sub expects, and begin catering to his visual desires, isn’t that compromising the entire point?

If you are a sub that is fully committed to pleasing your Domme and suffering for her, surely it would make you uncomfortable if she was pandering to your every request. So, at what point does the preferences of the sub stop being relevant? I would say, after the initial conversation about limits and interests. During those first meetings and chats, you should be telling her what you want (and don’t want). Things that are vitally important to you, like CFNM, to establish the type of dynamic you need, should be mentioned early on.

The getting to know you stage is hard to navigate, but equally if you are a Domme that feels good in her own skin and has an exhibitionist streak then I would imagine your images and content would reflect that. It would be part of your marketing, surely? I can see an ethical concern, if you have been selling yourself as one (naked/buttoned up) and then flip it round without a prior conversation.

The sub would be forgiven for feeling a little confused if something as pivotal to the power balance as nudity was upended without warning. But that is a personal, ongoing relationship. These are two people that have a reason to debate the subject.

“It does not make me more sexual or accessible to the man that comes to suffer for me that day, if I am naked.”

Does domination need to be dressed up?

My attire in a session is not something the wider audience of people need concern themselves with. I know I am no less dominant in just a g-string, than a catsuit. I think we need to have a word with ourselves if we judge other Domme’s for stripping off.

It does not make me more sexual or accessible to the man that comes to suffer for me that day, if I am naked. I think that is the crux of the matter, and it reeks of “if she wears a short skirt, she’s asking for trouble.” What I wear or not, does not reflect my sexual availability. Only my consent can alter that, not my underwear (or lack of).

The point of this article is not to give a definitive answer on this; it is to spark a debate about the pressures on women in sex work, because it is good to find different opinions and to question your own prejudices and preconceptions from time to time.

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