Twisted Fire Starter
“It’s not only the adrenaline of the gentle heat or sometimes burn but the satisfactory peel off that I loved too”
As a race we have been fascinated by fire since we first discovered it… it’s dangerous, it’s mesmerising. Who hasn’t found themselves lost in the glow of a fire? Or drawn in to stoking it, adding logs to a campfire and watching them as they crumble to ash.
As a kid I used to play with molten wax from the big pillar candles on my dad’s fireplace. Watching them melt, then I would pour the molten wax into a hot pool in the palm of my hand and watch as it cooled, enjoying the sensation as it slowly hardens and tightens. Sometimes,while it was still warm, I’d let it run down the sensitive skin on my wrist. It’s not only the adrenaline of the gentle heat or sometimes burn but the satisfactory peel off that I loved too. I am a tactile girl, I love touch and textures still now and of course i still love to play with wax.
“I always take great joy in making pain beautiful.”
I also remember at school, the attraction I felt to the orange flame of the Bunsen burner. Everybody did it, the quick fingertip dash through the not-too-hot flame. It felt so naughty and brave. There is an element of danger in pushing your boundaries and challenging the authority of the parent or teacher who told you that it’s dangerous. The truth is we never really grow up, we just get a little smarter about the risks we take and hopefully learn from our mistakes.
Wax play, with a lit candle is the perfect way to explore some of the feelings we have learnt to associate with fire …danger, fascination, the reckless abandonment of rules. It is because of these associations that it works very well in a D/s play scene. As practitioners and consumers of this marginal world we embody the danger, risk taking and thrill seeking nature of a twisted firestarter.
Flames, and indeed candles can be a subtle, yet perfectly painful way to hurt you. A small, harmless looking flame, that dances atop a purpose made candle for contact with the skin. Visually it is a treat, held in my hand as I loom above you. That soft glow of light from the candle illuminating me, flickering over my features and curves, I may look almost angelic, until I start to tilt it and the wax begins to drip… drip… drip.
If I vary the distance between the candle and your skin I can ramp up or ease the pain level. So if your pain thresholds are low this is not a no-go area of play, I can simply adjust the distance, and make it feel warm rather than volcanic. I may start on your chest, to warm you up gently. Or I may be impatient for your wriggles this time and land it straight on your genitals with controlled precision, decorating your burning body making you a work of (painful) art. This is immensely satisfying for me, I always take great joy in making pain beautiful. With wax I can create patterns, mix colours, splash and pour.
“When you light a flame you become responsible for it”
Pro Tip 1) BDSM candles melt at about 45 degrees and cool much quicker than a normal candle. Buy a selection as they burn through much quicker than standard candles.
Pro Tip 2) Source a specialist stockist of waxplay candles. I don’t recommend you experimenting with a Yankee candle unless you’re really into pain. But of course the ‘don’t do that’ just brings out the rebellious youngster in us all. You’re going to touch the candle anyway so just BE BLOODY CAREFUL and perhaps start with a soy wax candle as it cools quicker on contact than paraffin. And Never use beeswax as it can really harm.
Pro Tip 3) I use a sheet underneath when in a hired property, think about the mess that will follow.
Pro Tip 4) I don’t wish to bore or belittle you, but do yourself a favour and know where your nearest exit and extinguisher / fire blanket / alarm is before you begin. When you light a flame you become responsible for it.
Pro Tip 5) Use either very cold water to harden the wax before you remove it, or warm it up again.. try to remove as much as possible or you’ll end up with most of it stuck to your shower tray.
Pro Tip 6) Wax play is similar but not the same as using a massage candle. Massage candles have an even lower melting temperature and turn to body OIL when they melt. Pour the warmed oil onto yourplay partner to create a sensual and relaxing feel.
Pro Tip 7) For easier removal you can prep your partner’s body with baby oil, this technique works especially well if they havent shaved. Another way to remove the wax is by using a bank card or similar to scrape it off.
Thrills can come from every avenue of our dark minds. Sexual tendencies aren’t linear and what you considered entirely off limits at first may be your current hottest high. This goes for exposure, ruination, home wreaking and blackmail too. Some clients invite this, they crave it.