Whether you are planning to engage in BDSM games with a professional or a lifestyle partner, safety should come up in conversation before the first strike lands, or lock clicks. Personal responsibility and communication is vitally important in a fulfilling D/s.
I really hope the word “aftercare” isn’t unfamiliar to you.
I truly hope you all find a Dominant or play partner that cares about you after a scene.
As the D/s evolves over time, things can and will change. It’s part of the process, where a sub starts with me and where they finish is often so different, it’s kind of mind blowing.
But some changes can be detrimental to the D/s dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to create.
You start off knowing theres something you want. The perfect scene with the the perfect partner, all the details are there. The lighting is just right, the temperature is unnoticeable because it’s just perfect. There is no noise, no distractions. In fact, these outside influences don’t even cross your mind – its your fantasy. Why would you care that the number 10 bus is loading its passengers at the stop across the road because you chose to have your fantasy at 3:45 on a Tuesday? Because time doesn’t exists in fantasyland.
First and foremost: Follow her rules. Or you will never even get to meet her. When inside the dungeon, listen and observe. She is trying to teach you how to behave in the way that she likes.