Smoking Fetish – Feel The Burn
“As the Domme reclines into a leggy repose, she places a cigarette delicately between her lips. Then clicks her fingers as you stumble and scurry to light it. She ignores you but stares lustfully at the flame, and the burn begins.”
Even talking about cigarettes is sexy. The words used to describe smoking are well….hot! Watching a woman smoking in person can be highly erotic and there is a growing demand for the Smoking Fetish, both as part of my sessions and as a stand-alone kink.
“The smoke creates a screen almost, a veil that separates her from you, accentuating her otherworldliness.”
So why is Smoking Fetish so prominent, so universally appealing? Perhaps we link it to sex, as a throwback to the 70s / 80s when smoking was not only popular but ingrained in our culture. Every screen icon smoked, all of them. It was certainly connected to superiority, success including success in the bedroom, having a post-coital cigarette was part of our sex life for god sake.
The advertising of tobacco brands around then featured overly confident male rebels, and associated the scenes with sexually charged interactions. The females promoting the tobacco products were always slim and attractive, and often more than a little menacing. A woman that takes no shit will always light up prior to or after an emotional outburst. The misogyny then was as toxic as the product itself. So it is these stereotypes I now flip and play with, all those fixed responses to a simple cigarette, I can use them against you.
Perhaps you weren’t even born then, so maybe your fetish for smoking is Freudian, and linked to a childhood Oedipal complex (consciously or unconsciously) perhaps your grand/mother smoked and represented strength and discipline?
Or other psychologically rooted reasons that stem from early oral fixations, does watching a woman put a stick of any size in her mouth causes a sexual reaction?
Visually, it is undeniably evocative and heightens a Domina’s sex appeal. The smoke creates a screen almost, a veil that separates her from you, accentuating her otherworldliness. As if she exists in another dimension, where you cannot touch her. The smoke loops and arcs as she walks through it, as though the plumes themselves are serpents at her command.
Femme Fatales in the Film Noir era were goddesses, and all the strong female characters smoked. You know she’s a bad girl if she smokes right? And I certainly am as bad as they come.
It is incredibly useful to have the masculine yet glamorised undertones perpetuated during this golden era, which never really went away. I can capitalise on this when you kneel at my feet, I need do very little except wave my wrist to make you feel small and insignificant. So some come to see me just to watch these plumes that leave my fingers like spells.
While the world is phasing out tobacco it still retains an iconic coolness, for those of us that have these old school images imprinted on our hard wiring, it’s difficult to shake the associations.
“Nicotine is addictive, and by proxy so am I.”
Smoking has undoubtedly gone out of fashion, become more and more anti-social. So unsurprisingly it has affiliated itself with villains and those demonised by society, like those of us in BDSM, it has joined us in the dark and sticky world of Taboos.
A villainess like me, with a flagrant disrespect for rules, that deliberately kicks against gender stereotypes and roles – hell yeah I smoke. A cigarette suggests an impervious layer of self assurance, that the smoker is a fearless risk taker. It’s a natural prop for my world.When I smell real tobacco cigarettes now, I get nostalgic. Possibly due to the rarity of it. It reminds me of a time when everyone smoked in clubs and so hedonism goes hand in hand with that for me.
Nicotine is addictive, and by proxy so am I. There is a literal poison swirling from my lips. It is undoubtedly bad for you, it is harmful and dangerous, (everything a dungeon session is) but with far less effort. A smoking Dominatrix is damaging your lungs not your flesh in these sessions while expending minimal energy to do so. You can gasp and choke just as if she has her hands round your throat for breath play in a non-smoking session, coughing and desperate for air.
Some want to take it to the masochistic max and become a human ashtray. It can be just a flick of ash, or to have it put out on their tongue or body. Or more than that, swallow the butt making you feel like an inanimate object, that is deeply humiliating for you, while being a privilege at the same time.
At the more delicate end, some watch me and may just light the cigarette for me, but also enjoy the smell of evil that clings to their face and hair.
When I blow it into his face, I insist he keeps his eyes open so his eyeballs sting. He will feel the need to hold his breath and close his eyes. But I won’t allow it.
If he wants to upgrade from having it blown in his face, I can add in gas masks, forcing him to breath in the expelled smoke through a tube. To have my exhalation in their lungs is so intimate ..it hurts.
Does the smell of smouldering seduction make you weak?
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Many of us with kinks spend the early part of our lives feeling bad or wrong or broken. But we are none of those things. I suspect that most people, the majority of the population, are turned on by things other than genitals. It is subtleties we find erotic, extras that turn us on mentally. And I think that is all that separates us from vanilla’s – a better imagination and the courage to pursue it. Being kinky means you are enlightened, you realise that our brains are our most powerful sexual organ. If it was just about penetration, it would be a very dull life, kink is the bonus round of the bedroom. So why does it make us feel ostracised and abnormal? Why do we spend so many years feeling alone and weird? Because we have so much else going on that kink becomes the escape? It gets ignored and side-lined until you can’t ignore it any longer…?
It’s basic kinky etiquette to consider your partner in the chosen activity and scene. Never is this more important than with anal play. I can tell if someone has tried (or not) or if someone has rushed it. The last thing either of us wants is for a session to end before it’s even begun.