The Other Woman
Engaging in the services of a sex worker comes with an inevitable risk. Paying for services in cash are of course less documented, but the modern world of subscribing, tipping and clip buying all come with a paper trail, pop-up notifications and tracked cookies. As a client and an active engager in the services of this somewhat still fringe industry, you are all too aware of what is at stake should the absolute worst happen. Should this ‘indiscretion’ be uncovered. So you do what you can to hide the trails, the odd behaviour, the web browsing history, the communication trail MUST be cold. Of course, you’re cautious. Your social profiles are limited and real names rarely disclosed. You keep public imagery very nondescript so as not to be identified.
Sadly, yours is not enough. She is always tweeting or Instagramming, she has nothing to hide, right! Her Facebook probably exposes your whole family. I have consensually been tasked to find clients families, to see how weak their privacy is. Photo location tagging and slip of the tongue tips are usually their downfalls and once I have a clue, I have a way in.
"However heavy the threat, exposure is always a non-option for me."
The need doesn’t fade.
Thrills can come from every avenue of our dark minds. Sexual tendencies aren’t linear and what you considered entirely off limits at first may be your current hottest high. This goes for exposure, ruination, home wreaking and blackmail too. Some clients invite this, they crave it. For some the act of sharing my screen during a Skype as I type her name into google, scroll and click about on her online profiles is fear boner inducing and the highest of sexual thrills. Their kink is the risk, the adrenaline and the fear of exposure.
Upon agreed limits, I will threaten, push and bring the fear of total exposure into a scene. I have been known to access a clients phone while they are secured helplessly to the cross. Thumb prints and face identification are no match for the Mistress with a bound servant, they are just fun obstacles that make the teasing exposure journey more drawn out, more of a thrill. Perhaps we being with text messages read aloud, giving a voice to private conversations while you are so helplessly left to stew.
Banking passwords that aren’t face recognition are easily brought out of a submissive through various levels of threat, pain or solitude. We have the ability to ruin your entire livelihood, to strip you back to nothing, to take everything we want and that thrill both frightens and feeds you.
It starts and ends with consent.
She, your beloved is not involved in our world and to bring her in, in anyway without prior discussion and her consent is wrong. A ‘Femdom’ who encourages behaviours that truly intrude uninvited into your personal life is not a real advocate of the lifestyle we exist within. Many misunderstand the entire meaning of female domination, and the unwritten codes of the industry. Missing the point that female empowerment and strength is not about cutting down all women except yourself, its not about taking all that you can and forgetting your actions have reactions.
Horror stories of unwanted exposure, extortion and blackmail circulate. Industry green girls sometimes perpetuate this unprofessional side of the scene. One particular example of this industry fuck up was a circulating image of a text conversation between a wife and husband. Her shock at their joint card being rejected at the checkout during a family food shop because their money was gone. Both the ‘Domme’ and clients pride in this financial domination situation was sickening, neither can be considered respectful of consent and the wife’s choice to be involved in a situation that so badly effects her and her family.
Trust, professionalism and respect.
The risk of something going awry is always mitigated with a professional, someone who would not risk their reputation and livelihood for a quick win, someone who knows what limits are to be pushed and what is morally wrong, and what is at stake. No matter the professional the undercurrent of concern should always be there, and rightly so, because exposure could so easily be accidental on anyones part. A web browser left open, an overheard discussion or simply a husbands tell-tale reaction to his partners outright question of ‘what are these bank charges?’.
"Being 'the other woman' gives us no rights to you."
Personally, there is no amount of money that would allow me to break my morals and the bond of trust between client and provider in such a way that would cause such hurt. However heavy the threat, exposure is always a non-option for me and many other professionals. There never has, nor ever will be a reason for us to break that trust. Being ‘the other woman’ gives us no rights to you and no matter how hard you need that thrill or want it in the heat of the moment, ultimately your home life will always be respected by us, even if sometimes you may need to be protected from your own dark desires.
Making me real
If we navigate away from in the moment sexual needs of ruination and home wrecking for sexual gain and move to the heady depths of established D/s relationships. There is usually a point where the submissive party will be fighting a desperate need to covertly introduce their Mistress to their real world.
To make your ‘other woman’ real is an entirely different thing and usually comes from a place of love, with no cruel intentions or intentions to cause harm. It comes from a need to share with the ones you love, the person who has such an impact upon you yet who must remain a secret due to social stigma.
I usually manifest in the guise of a work colleague, or old university friend. Passing mentions of this woman you once knew are harmlessly shared with friends, bringing your two realities together without hurt or harm. I fondly remember a D/s relationship with someone who desperately wanted me to meet his friends in a vanilla and entirely non exposing way. We made up a back story and a name and I spent the whole night at the pub with them just being myself. If you want to listen to find out what we did to make it happen you can do so by going… here.
The BDSM community can seem alien when you first encounter it, but all it takes is a little patience and some basic research. This is not the Illuminati, or the Masons – there is no ritual, human sacrifice or handshake to get in – you just have to learn how to interact with people all over again.
There is no doubt about it, sexual desires are distracting. At the worst possible time, that little prick shaped bit of your brain pings and there you are, off in fantasy land with last month’s paperwork piling up beside you in the home office while you once again wander off to your favourite subscription site with your hand in your pants. Sufficiently jerked off, you wash your hands and wipe the sweat from your brow before logging in to that Zoom call.
No matter what stage of your relationship, dating, long-term or fully committed, sharing your innermost taboo secrets with someone will seem like the most nerve-wracking thing in the world. But what if I told you the conversation could open you up to experiences you previously thought weren’t possible? What if the conversation led to foreplay or better yet raw, red-hot kinky sex!