Thoughts on BDSM, fetish and... ethics.
The Countess offers her thoughts on BDSM, fetish, dominant and submissive relationships… as well as ethics and chastity.
“Part of being me is a need to champion things I believe in. To get the word out there and discuss the larger meaning of our existence, our wants and our desires in a thoughtful, practical way. Devoid of stereotypes, condemnation and judgement.“
The BDSM community can seem alien when you first encounter it, but all it takes is a little patience and some basic research. This is not the Illuminati, or the Masons – there is no ritual, human sacrifice or handshake to get in – you just have to learn how to interact with people all over again.
All My Thoughts
The most read and shared BDSM blogs from Bristols top BDSM Mistress, Countess Diamond.
Pain is not just about body parts and nerve endings, it’s the output of the brain, the response that is designed to protect you. It’s not something that comes from the touch of the flogger itself, but the neurological sequence of events that lead up to that very moment, the explosion of agony that follows my hand.
As the D/s evolves over time, things can and will change. It’s part of the process, where a sub starts with me and where they finish is often so different, it’s kind of mind blowing.
But some changes can be detrimental to the D/s dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to create.
You start off knowing theres something you want. The perfect scene with the the perfect partner, all the details are there. The lighting is just right, the temperature is unnoticeable because it’s just perfect. There is no noise, no distractions. In fact, these outside influences don’t even cross your mind – its your fantasy. Why would you care that the number 10 bus is loading its passengers at the stop across the road because you chose to have your fantasy at 3:45 on a Tuesday? Because time doesn’t exists in fantasyland.
As far as fetishes go, a sexual interest in feet is becoming more mainstream, and from what I hear it often leads you down the tunnel to further kinks. For most clients I speak with, this interest generally starts in their impressionable formative years.
It takes so much strength of character to step over the line, past the point of no return into my dominion. It takes a combination of mental and physical strength to endure me, but that’s what you wanted, that’s what has been clawing at you from the inside all this time. The need to suffer at the hands of a beautiful Dominatrix has been swirling for so long, and you have battled yourself to take the first step. I appreciate all of this. I see and hear about it often. It can be overwhelming to give a voice to all those thoughts and fantasy scenarios that have kept you awake night after night.
Its that unwritten Duty of Care we have to keep in mind, that’s what you are really paying for. That while you think we are lost in that moment with you, we aren’t. We’re watching the rise and fall of your chest, moving our hands to feel that tightness of your collar. We are “ON” all the time, but the skill comes in appearing “OFF”.
If sex workers built OnlyFans, they can tear it down. This will take a group of powerful women to do and … well, I know a fair few of them. However, as strong, capable and resilient as sex workers are they cannot do this alone.
The generosity of you, the subscriber and tipper who has supported them is also being taken for granted. 20% of what you spend is being syphoned off to fund a platform that will be unlikely to hold your favourite creator in the months and years to come.
I have realised that my clients have come to understand the positive value of the interactions they previously took for granted, that they used to get so much joy from, the important people they used to share these experiences with. We have collectively realised how we affect those around us, both positively and negatively, biologically and physiologically. It will feel amazing when they can go and see a provider again, and this time they say they will savour every moment, every detail.
Latex and BDSM go hand in shiny hand, it is a visual and sensual treat for so many of us. The smell of rubber itself is extremely provocative. It can cause a raging hard on, as can the touch of it. There is something about this material that works so well with the dungeon scene and the kink parties, its like a layer of us that we can apply or peel off, as we switch between the two worlds. But latex is as sensitive, exasperating and difficult at times as your Mistress can be.
Pushing her boundaries – Thinking that because you get on so well, you can message her when you feel like it, for free. That she’d want to hang out, go get a coffee … for free. That you basically begin to encroach on her personal time. You have made the fatal mistake of forgetting she is a service provider and has a life that she wants to keep separate from this. But because she is so good at her job, she’s made you feel special – you are starting to believe you should get special treatment. Sadly, you just sealed your own fate.
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Chastity, is one of Countess Diamond’s favourite fetishes. It’s versatile, effective and accessible and best of all can be done very discreetly. Delve into one of the most teasing, yet rewarding of all the fetishes.
There is something about this material that works so well with the dungeon scene and the kink parties, its like a layer of us that we can apply or peel off, as we switch between the two worlds. But latex is as sensitive, exasperating and difficult at times as your Mistress can be.
From the basics in bondage, to exploring the darkest taboos. Here you will find all sorts of specific fetishes from the mainstream, niche and extra naughty sides of BDSM life.
Understanding the nuanced social dynamics as well as protocol and etiquette within BDSM is never going to be easy. This narrative, from Countess Diamonds perspective is an account her of experience, thoughts and relationships and not intended to be the final word on such subjects.